#4 Weekly DBrief

Taking back my pride

I’m sure you’ve all heard the phrase: pride comes before a fall. It’s a saying that reflects an idea that goes way, way back and gets repeated again and again in religious texts and regurgitated in literature throughout history. But what does it mean? I guess that all depends on who you ask. I believe it means something like: if you get too confident in your abilities, something will go wrong that proves you're not as skilled as you thought. Or, in the words of Han Solo, “Don’t get cocky, kid.”

If I were to ignore the nuance of this advice and take it at face value, I’d say it was codswallop! A dated instruction to keep the pious in line. Reading between the lines, though, I think I get it. Maybe it’s the wording I don’t like? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the spoken word is intention and form given to energy, and I think the written word can be just as powerful!

There’s a fine line between pride and humility, and I’ve often found it difficult to navigate. One of my besties, Marcus, is a great example of how pride in one’s own accomplishments comes from a strong sense of self-worth. He’s mastered the art of pride tempered with humility. I love catching up with his social media and reading about the projects he’s working on. As his friend, I also take pride in his achievements, and I’m delighted that he’s confident enough to share them publicly.

I’ve never been able to promote myself like Marcus does. I can do it for a little while, and then I’ll have a bad week and lose faith in myself, or take someone’s words too deeply to heart. The truth is, any pride I’ve had in myself in the past has been largely misplaced and, for the most part, fake. I think I’ve always been a little worried that if I take too much pride in what I’m doing, or shout too loudly about something I’m good at, then I will be open to ridicule. Is this something instilled by our culture? Or a learned behaviour carried over from school, then compounded by social media? Are we so used to only sharing, seeing, and wanting success that we have become ashamed and fearful of failing, to the point that we fear ‘the fall’?

Pride comes before a fall, does it? Does it always? Or can a fall come regardless of your pride, and do we only notice the prideful fall because we are watching them? Are we taught to will the fall of the prideful?

My understanding is this: to take pride in yourself is to love yourself enough to acknowledge your self-worth. I think the danger comes when your pride gets misplaced. Too proud to accept a hand of help, too proud to acknowledge your own failings. I guess this is the invisible line between being humble and being proud.

It feels as though we’re only given permission to be proud once we’ve achieved something of merit. You’ve just bought your first house—“you should be really proud of yourself.” Got your degree—“you should be really proud of yourself.” Run a marathon—“you should be really proud of yourself.”

What about the little wins, the baby steps, the silent battles won when no one is watching?

This week I went to the gym feeling rough as rats and did the worst thirty-minute workout of my life. As it turns out, I have a middle ear infection and I’m on antibiotics.

Over the last two months (ish), I have consistently posted on Substack. Some of it has been pure shite, but I’ve remained consistent.

I’ve worked for myself for nearly a decade, and now I’m having to work a middle-of-the-road, minimum wage office job just to get through university. There are days I would rather peel my skin off, but I’m making it work.

I’ve been taking vitamins consistently for nearly a month now.

Granted, none of those things will earn me the Nobel Peace Prize, but to me, they are a big deal and worth taking pride in. I actually think it’s more important to celebrate the small wins over the big ones. Keeping track of your small wins keeps you in the present, and the present is where we can have the maximum effect on our lives.

I’m dishing out homework this week! What are you proud of? What’s your little win? Share in the comments or send me a message—I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time,

DB